|Examine Your Life
Question Twelve : What's wrong with being jealous?
not good to be jealous, of anyone, jealousy, destoys ones soul, and the
only one it hurts is 'YOU' for being jealous, there is nothing in this
world to be jealous of.
The problem with being jealous is that
it is saying ‘ Hashem got it wrong’ In the first place it implies that I
have whereas in Hebrew there is a concept of yeish li – there is to me
or ain li – there is not to me The truth is we don’t really ‘ have
anything’ rather what I APPEAR TO HAVE IS ONLY A LOAN of which I am the
custodian for a brief period of time.
The second difficulty is
the implication of jealousy is that if someone so called ‘ has
something’ , it means that I cant’ have’ it - this erroneously implies
that Hashem has limitations whereas we know that HASHEM is limitless and
has infinite capacity.
is a error to be jealous it does not give your soul shalom. Hashem has
created each of us unique. What is inside of each individual are gifts
to be expressed to serve Hashem and each other. To be jealous is lack
of faith and trust in Hashem's. providence.
Rabbi Schwartz :
we can't escape feelings of jealousy. When we see someone with
something we ourselves want, we feel resentment, irritation and even
anger. Even the smallest of such feelings is jealousy. Still, we can
channel our jealousy in a positive or negative way, with the goodness
of our heart or without it.*
With our good heart, we are happy
for another's good fortunes. We do not wish to tear him down. Instead,
we make him our goal, striving to match, and even surpass his
achievements. With our evil heart, however, we pray that he loses his
advantage over us, and sinks to our level. Such negativity, we need to
overcome. We must take control of our jealousy that it not destroy us
and any happiness we may have.
We should try then, to say kind,
friendly words to this person. If at present, this is too difficult,
then at least, we should keep quiet, not making things worse with
ugliness. Also, we can work on growing ourselves where we are
strongest, that we may be satisfied with ourselves.
above this, however, we must remember that the ideal is not to compete
with others, but to serve Hashem alone and with lofty motivations.
* From Chochma v'Mussar vol. 2, essay 201
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