In this week’s sedra, the Chumash for the first time discusses Shidduchim.
From Avraham’s first conversations with Eliezer to Rivka coming to see
Yitzchak we can find many lessons that relate to the Shidduch process. The
following D’var Torah was said for one of the many vorts, engagement
parties, at which Mordechai was asked to speak.
The Gemara says: “Yagatah U’matzasah Tamin”. If someone tells you that he
searched and he found you should believe him. It is generally accepted that
this is referring to a person’s learning. The question can be asked: why
does Chazal use Lashon “Metzia”, a find. If a person searches and searches,
he deserves an answer -- he does not just find it. When a person is
learning, he will search and search to understand the Pshat of what he is
learning and when he finally finds his answers, it opens up a whole new
world for him. He finds more to the learning then he thought there was. We
can say the same thing about the search for a Shidduch. When we set out to
search for that right person, we go out with many thoughts and ideas as to
what we want. What actually happens is that when we find the “right person”
we end up with much more than we thought we were looking for. Sometimes it
is not always clear to those around you, that what you have found is a
“Metzia”, a find. So Chazal tell us -- if someone tells you he searched and
he found -- believe him.