(Permission is granted to print and redistribute this material
as long as this header and the footer at the end are included.)


Prepared by Rabbi P. Feldman
of Kollel Iyun Hadaf, Yerushalayim
Rosh Kollel: Rabbi Mordecai Kornfeld

Ask A Question on the daf

Previous daf

Kidushin 31

KIDUSHIN 31 (16 Sivan) - dedicated l'Zecher Nishmas Reb Avrohom ben Reb Shmuel Teichman by his son Mr. Sidney Teichman, by Mrs. Leah Teichman, by Mrs. Tzipora Lieber, by Mrs. Amy Kornfeld and by Mr. Berish Teichman.


(a) (Beraisa): When a man pains his parents, Hash-m is happy that He did not dwell among them, for if He had, they would have pained Him.
(b) (R. Yitzchak): Anyone that transgresses in private, it is as if he pushes aside the Divine Presence - "Hash-m says, the Heavens are My throne, the earth is My footstool".
(c) (R. Yehoshua ben Levi): It is forbidden to walk erect - "(Hash-m's) honor fills the entire land."
1. Rav Huna brei d'Rav Yehoshua would not walk 4 Amos with his head uncovered, because the Divine Presence is above.
(d) Question (An orphan): If both my father and mother ask me to bring them water, which request should I honor first?
(e) Answer (R. Eliezer): Your father's because you and your mother are commanded to honor your father.
1. The orphan came before R. Yehoshua and receives the same answer,
(f) Question (The orphan): What if she is divorced?
(g) Answer (R. Yehoshua): Put the water in front of them (neither has precedence).
(h) (Ula Rabah): "All kings will admit to You, because they heard the sayings of Your mouth" - when the Nochrim heard about "I am Hash-m...you will not have other gods in front of Me", they thought that Hash-m was seeking His own honor;
1. When they heard about the Mitzvah to honor parents, they admitted that also the first utterances should be kept.
(i) Question (Rava): "The beginning of Your words are truth" - but not the end?!
(j) Answer (Rava): Rather, from the end of your words ("Honor your father and mother"), it is recognized that the beginning of your words ("I am Hash-m...you will not have....)" are just.
(k) Question: How far does the Mitzvah of honoring parents extend?
(l) Answer #1 (Rav Ula): We can learn from a Nochri, Dama ben Nesinah. Once Chachamim wanted to do business with him; he stood to profit 600,000 gold Dinars - he could not make the deal without waking his father, so he lost the deal.
(m) Answer #2 (R. Eliezer): We can learn from a Nochri, Dama ben Nesinah. Once Chachamim wanted to buy a stone from him for the Ephod; he stood to gain 600,000 gold Dinars. He could not get the stone without waking his father, so he lost the deal.
1. The next year, Hash-m gave him his reward: a red heifer was born in his herd.
2. Dama (to Chachamim): I know you would pay all the money in the world for this - all I ask is the 600,000 Dinars I lost to honor my father.
3. (R. Chanina): Someone that is not commanded to honor his father received such a reward - all the more so, someone who is commanded!
i. (R. Chanina): One who is commanded and fulfills is greater than one who is not commanded and fulfills.
4. (Rav Yosef): At first, I was hoping that the law is as R. Yehudah, that a blind person is exempt from Mitzvos, for then I would be doing more than was required of me;
5. Now that I heard R. Chanina's teaching, I hope that the law is not as R. Yehudah!
(n) (Rav Dimi): Once, Dama ben Nesinah was wearing silk woven with gold, and was seated among the Roman officials. His mother came, tore his garment, hit him on the head and spit before him - he did not embarrass her.
(o) (Avimi brei d'R. Avahu): A man can feed his father choice fowl and be punished for this (if he shows his reluctance to do so);
1. A man can make his father grind on a mill, and (if the son shows that he is sorry his father must do this, but it must be done) through this merit the world to come.


(a) (R. Avahu): My son Avimi is a paradigm of how to honor parents.
1. Avimi had 5 children, yet when R. Avahu called, Avimi would run to open the door for him before his children; as he ran, he would call to his father to say that he is coming.
2. One day, R. Avahu asked for a drink; he fell asleep before Avimi brought it. Avimi waited by him until he awoke.
i. While he waited, he thought of a wondrous exposition of "A song of Asaf".
(b) Question (Rav Yakov bar Avuha): When I return from learning, my parents give me to drink - what should I do?
(c) Answer (Abaye): Accept from your mother, but not from your father;
1. Since your father is a Chacham, it hurts his feelings to serve you.
(d) R. Tarfon would bend down for his mother to step on him when climbing into or out of her bed.
1. Rabanan: That is not half as much as is required;
i. If she would throw your wallet in the sea, and you would not embarrass her, that is the ultimate honor.
(e) When Rav Yosef would hear his mother's footsteps, he would say 'I will rise before the Divine Presence that is coming'.
(f) (R. Yochanan): One who was orphaned from birth is fortunate (it is hard to honor parents properly, and one is punished for this).
1. R. Yochanan's father died before R. Yochanan was born, his mother died shortly after his birth; the same is true of Abaye.
2. Objection: But Abaye often said things that his mother told him!
3. Answer: He referred to the woman that raised him.
(g) Rav Asi's mother requested ornaments; Rav Asi made ornaments for her.
1. His mother: I want you to find a man as beautiful as yourself for me to marry!
2. Rav Asi fled to Eretz Yisrael. He heard that she was coming after him.
3. Rav Asi: Am I permitted to go to Chutz La'aretz?
4. R. Yochanan: No.
5. Rav Asi: May I go to Chutz La'aretz to greet my mother?
6. R. Yochanan: I don't know; wait.
7. R. Yochanan saw that Rav Asi came to ask again. 'I see you want to go - Hash-m should return you safely'.
8. Rav Asi (to R. Elazar): I hope R. Yochanan was not angry at me!
9. R. Elazar: Since he blessed you, we see he was not angry.
10. Before Rav Asi reached his mother, she died, and she was being brought to Eretz Yisrael for burial.
11. Rav Asi: Had I known, I would not have left Eretz Yisrael.
(a) (Beraisa): One must honor parents in their life and after their death.
1. In their life - one should not ask for preferential treatment on account of his own importance, rather on account of his father.
2. After death - when citing a teaching of his father, he says 'My father, my teacher, I should be an atonement for him'.
i. This only applies within 12 months after death; after that, he says 'He should be blessed with life in the world to come'.
(b) (Beraisa): A Chacham citing his father or Rebbi should not say their actual names; the one broadcasting the lesson says the actual names.
(c) Question: Whose names does he say?
1. Suggestion: If this means, the names of his own father or Rebbi - but the broadcaster must also honor his father and Rebbi!
(d) Answer (Rava): The names of the Chacham's father and Rebbi.
1. When Mar bar Rav Ashi would teach, he would say 'My father, my teacher'; the broadcaster would say 'Rav Ashi'.
Next daf


For further information on
subscriptions, archives and sponsorships,
contact Kollel Iyun Hadaf,