PART III
A story is told involving Rabbi Yaacov Kamentzky which teaches us the proper attitude at a Jewish funeral. Reb Yaacov was a great Rabbi who arrived on American shores in 18 from pre-war Europe. Upon his arrival in Seattle, Washington, he was to conduct the funeral of an elderly woman of European birth. At the funeral, he was astonished to find the mourners present attired in their finest clothing and seated very decorously and properly on the finest oak benches. He was shocked and dismayed by the atmosphere of festivity which seemed to prevail. The death of this woman seemed to impact very little on the lives of those attending her funeral. In his eulogy, Rabbi Kamenetzky recounted the Torahs description of the mourning period observed by Abraham, our father, following the death of his wife, Sarah. First, Abraham eulogized Sara and then he cried over her.
This teaches us that in order to fully feel the loss of the deceased, we must first have an understanding of the essence of his life and the impact of this death on those left behind. The atmosphere of festivity, continued Rabbi Kamenetzky, demonstrated that those present had no understanding of the value of this deceased European woman and did not appreciate the impact of her death on their lives. We learn from this the proper Torah attitude towards the death of a member of one's family - especially parents. Death is not merely the termination of the experience of life, rather it has a meaning of its own.
In order to clarify this concept we will compare the life process of a human being with that of an animal. Upon birth, an animal is almost completely developed with most of his potential faculties and powers operating at nearly full strength. Most animals are able to fend for themselves relatively soon after birth. Man, by contrast, is born helpless, and only after many years of being cared for and tended, is he able to fend for himself. In addition, the concept of intellectual and spiritual growth has no relation to animals whereas man grows continually in these areas until death. Animals have no spiritual development. Their species do not advance or grow in intellect. As animals were thousands of years ago, so they are today. If a monkey is left with a typewriter for a hundred years, he will not produce a single intelligent sentence. Compare and contrast this static existence with the life of man, which is one of perpetual growth of character and pursuit of spiritual goals. An animal has but one goal, to fulfill its immediate desires. Once its hunger is stilled, no needs will arise until he is hungry again. He does not seek to save for future needs. Man, by contrast, constantly seeks to accumulate material possessions in order to satisfy future desires. Rarely are these savings actually consumed.
However, in order to achieve these most human goals, man must be part of a group. Without the group structure, human achievement is virtually impossible. Human groups include parents, teachers, friends, neighbors, etc. We see in the course of our daily routine the importance of individual roles within the group. A case in point is our daily bread. Even before processing begins, workers are needed to plant, tend, water and harvest the wheat. The processing, until actual purchase, involves many more workers to knead, bake, package and ship the product until it actually arrives on our shelves. All this for just plain bread - imagine how much more is involved in the production of raisin bread!
The Talmud states that if a person were required to carry out all the tasks necessary for his existence by himself, he would have time to do nothing else! Therefore, the Creator, in his infinite goodness, created a group structure for mankind. The group allows man the freedom and flexibility to pursue varied and individual goals. Without group membership, it would be virtually impossible for man to develop his characteristics and fulfill individual needs and desires. This is in contrast to the animal kingdom. An animal is created in a manner which allows it to fend for itself, on its own, with no thought to future material needs and surely no spiritual goals. Its survival instincts are part of its divinely-designed nature. How does all the above relate to the European woman and her inappropriately festive funeral?
One function of a funeral is to allow us to be together with the deceased one last time. We should focus our thoughts on the strength we derived from the deceased. The contribution which he made to the group we have discussed, allowed the rest of us in the group to grow and accomplish in many areas. We must now seek a replacement for a vital part of our group structure which is now gone. According to our great sage, the Rambam (Maimonidies), this focus on the depth and meaning of the loss, is one of the primary goals of the mourning period. A detailed explanation of the mourning period, its specific laws and customs, will follow in a future article.
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Part IV - Visiting the
Sick
Part V - Vidui -
Confession
Part VI - The Law of a
Goses